Introduction
Introduction By: Patrick Nolan
Patrick Nolan here.
This week’s chapter hits a little different. It’s not just about what you’re made of. It’s about what’s acting on you. Paul opens up about a phase of his journey where the Elements Mind, Body, and Soul were being tugged in different directions by pressures both seen and unseen.
If you’ve ever tried to “power through” stress, pretend things are okay when they’re not, or felt the slow erosion of your energy from forces you couldn’t quite name… you’ll feel this one in your bones.
Paul takes us into the storm of grief, therapy, executive pressure, and the pivotal moment when he stopped swimming upstream and started mapping the currents.
We’re talking about Forces. The internal ones that whisper stories in your head. The external ones that demand more than you’ve got to give. And most importantly, how to notice them before they run your life on autopilot.
The Forces At Play
Written By: Paul Cobbin
Narrated By: Paul Cobbin
For me, the early stages post-diagnosis were somewhat of a false start. Life went on, because the first stage of grief is denial, so I continued on from that first outpouring under the Betel Nut tree. Maintaining my stoic composure, like execs should, it was business as usual.
Silently however, my mind and body had a difference of opinion and it took a good two to three months for cracks to appear because during that time I still had a corporate role to up keep, it was christmas time with family and work stresses like quarterly board reports still had to be done and then there were rounds of medical analysis to undergo.
As the true extent of my condition began to be clear, the cracks began to appear.
The cracks first surfaced in my temperament and then migrated out into my personality and that’s when my wife politely guided me towards mental health therapy. All of a sudden I went from being an extrovert to being insular, defensive and introverted.
I just wasn’t my normal self and it began to show in my personal relationships, at work and a general level of pessimism crept in. One thing I remember internally grappling with was the suggestion I had three to five years life expectancy. When I told people the extent of my condition they nearly always gasped.
I thought if I increased my exercise I could reduce stress. My wife and I hadn’t drunk alcohol for some years, our diet was quite healthy but we turned that up a notch as well switching to primarily pescatarian with the occasional lean meat.
No matter how much I worked on my body, things just didn’t seem to improve, my personality continued to decline.
The ‘aha’ moment came during the first therapy session with my psychologist. The realisation I was going through grief and although I didn’t understand the depth of depression I was in, the layers of the onion we needed to work on became evidently clear.
And look, he was a great clinician so he didn’t load me up but I could see from the nature of the discussion that we needed quite a bit of work if I was to have any chance of decoding my diagnosis.
The thing I didn’t understand so well was the level of impact stress had on me as a force both mentally and physically. I mean, if you want someone to manage a serious crisis like a multimillion dollar project being destroyed by a cyclone, I’m your man, and yes I was leading an organisation when that actually happened. In fact Cyclone Yasi’s attack on our business was actually the third worst thing that happened to our organisation that disaster season, but the company, my family and I came out intact.
What I am only now coming to understand is that the ability to weather ‘stress storms’ impacts me heavily internally, both mentally and physically.
When I think back to the years of external forces I’ve shouldered by ‘managing stress well’, I wonder how I’m even still alive.
The real shift or realignment began roughly six months after the first mental therapy intervention. I reflect on that year as having two functional halves of personal growth. The first part working through the grief of diagnosis and the second half in realigning myself toward life as a Titan decoding their diagnosis.
I tell you, that second half was quite a relief, not just for me but also those around me.
How can I describe it… Ok, try holding a really deep breath until you start gagging for Oxygen and then release it and think how you feel directly after you’ve taken your next breath. Go on, try it now and see how you feel. Feel that immense relief.
Got it, great, now picture yourself as I was in the early stages of our marriage when my wife and I were out on a diving voyage and I snorkelled down 25 meters (75 feet) to retrieve the skippers favourite filleting knife I had accidently dropped over the side. I was a diving instructor at the time, so I could hold my breath pretty well and the visibility was crystal clear, so I could see the shimmer of the knife from the surface. Not one to shy away from a challenge, off I went over the side without telling anyone I was gone, down, down, down and… got ya. The knife and I slowly returned to the surface and in those last few meters before reaching the surface I started blacking out due to hypoxia. If you think the relief you felt when you took that breath was lovely, imagine the desperate exhilaration I felt upon taking my first breath when I smashed through the surface on that free dive.
That level of desperate exhilaration is how I felt midway through the second half of the diagnosis year, when I began offloading non essential stress. The biggest single act or event was the day I stood down from my executive roles. The levity this act produced to my overall condition was incredible. I suddenly felt I had a future.
Now, eight months further on and I'm a renewed, revitalised me. I won’t say I’m a different person because we are who we are because of all we have experienced, not a new someone because of it.
The biggest change to who I am is how I manage everything in life, from stress to enjoying the knife edge of time. It’s like I’m surfing waves. The thing about surfing is it’s ability to hold you in the moment. There is nothing else, once you catch that wave, every part of your being is focused on riding that wave, there is no other way to stay on your board than engulf yourself in the moment. Life is like that for me now. At the moment I am passionately engrossed in writing this story and enjoying the sculpting of every word and shortly, I’ll be walking away from the keyboard and turning to riding by bicycle into town. Whether it’s washing dishes, doing exercises or practicing meditation. If I’m doing something, I’m riding that wave 100%.
One thing I have come to understand is how to reduce stress by recognising a force and letting it pass like water off a duck’s back. Where once I would try to counter a force, now I flow with it and the outcome is vastly different and I feel so much better for it as well.
Now I’m living the life of a Titan.
A diagnosis doesn’t arrive in a vacuum. It arrives in a context shaped by your history, your habits, your surroundings, and your stress levels. These shaping influences, both subtle and strong, are what we refer to in Decode Your Diagnosis as Forces.
If the Elements (Mind, Body, and Soul) are the internal landscape of your being, then the Forces are the winds, waves, and weather that act upon that landscape. Understanding these Forces, and learning how to navigate them, is the key to building Dynamic Harmony.
The Two Categories of Force
Forces can be divided into two primary types:
External Forces: These are the environmental, social, and situational pressures that influence your Elements. They include:
Physical environment (pollution, housing, noise, nature access)
Social influences (relationships, support networks, media exposure)
Professional or economic pressure (job demands, financial strain)
Life events (grief, trauma, celebration, caregiving roles)
Internal Forces: These arise from within and directly impact how you interpret and respond to the world. They include:
Beliefs and mindset
Emotional regulation
Habits and routines
Your inner critic or personal narrative
External Forces often trigger Internal Forces. For example, the stress of a demanding job (external) may activate self-doubt or perfectionism (internal). That’s why awareness matters because not all Forces are visible.
How Forces Shape The Decoding Process
Each Force has a directional impact. It can:
Align your Elements (e.g., time in nature improves both mood and immune function)
Disrupt your Elements (e.g., social conflict drains mental energy and creates physical tension)
Mask disharmony (e.g., numbing with alcohol or overworking to avoid discomfort)
The goal isn’t to eliminate Forces, that’s impossible. Instead, we learn to:
Observe them
Understand their source
Choose how to respond
The Role of Time and Stress
Two Forces deserve special attention:
Time is a neutral Force that becomes either supportive or destructive depending on how it’s used. Poor time management increases stress and reduces space for rest and recovery.
Stress is a compound Force that amplifies others. Chronic stress affects the nervous system, immune response, cognition, and emotional balance. It’s not the presence of stress that harms us, it’s the lack of recalibration.
That’s where Dynamic Harmony becomes your tool of transformation.
Introducing Force Mapping
Force Mapping is a reflective tool explored in Book Two, but the foundation begins here. It’s a method of identifying and evaluating the key Forces acting on your Elements.
Ask yourself:
What’s pressing in on me lately?
What supports me right now?
Are there recurring patterns or triggers?
Which Forces are within my influence to shift?
Mapping these Forces helps create clarity. Clarity leads to action.
Force Interplay in Daily Life
Here’s how Forces commonly interact with the Elements:
A toxic work environment (external) may lead to anxiety (Mind), tension (Body), and loss of purpose (Soul).
Unprocessed grief (internal) may lead to isolation (Soul), insomnia (Body), and negative self-talk (Mind).
Supportive relationships can buffer difficult experiences, helping to maintain equilibrium across all three Elements.
This is why addressing only one Element rarely works. Forces don’t respect boundaries. They cascade.
Empowerment Through Awareness
Recognizing the Forces at play is the beginning of choice. You may not control the weather, but you can choose what to wear, when to rest, and how to build shelter.
The same goes for your journey. With awareness comes adaptability. With adaptability comes resilience. And with resilience comes the ability to decode your diagnosis, not through perfection, but through intentional alignment.
Key Insight
Forces are ever-present, but they don’t have to dictate your direction. Awareness gives you power. Response gives you freedom.
Practical Reflections
What’s one Force, either internal or external, that has impacted your health journey recently?
How has it influenced your Mind, Body, and Soul?
What’s one shift (however small) you can make to respond with intention?
Fama’s Sidebar
Be the Observer
Not every storm needs to be fought. Some need to be watched, understood, and navigated around. Let awareness be your compass. Before you react, pause and notice the Force. Then choose your next step with clarity.